Overmorgen
by zeroseconds
Summary: Shortly after the end, Shinn traces the puzzling relationship he had with Rey within his thoughts.


I wrote this one-shot fic in my native language when I still was a SEED junkie. Two years later I am fulfilling my promise of creating this version, hopefully with a better grasp of the English language. Luckily this happens to be one of the few older fics I'm quite proud of, instead of embarassed.

_Overmorgen_ would actually be a Dutch wordplay of sorts. Unfortunately the English title _'Day after Tomorrow'_ lost one meaning; if you take _Overmorgen_ apart (over morgen), it would mean _'About Tomorrow'_. Therefore I've chosen to stick with the odd foreign word for the English version.

**Overmorgen**

It's the day after tomorrow, after two nights of sleeping in your bed. The first night I simply couldn't endure looking at where you used to sleep, where you won't be sleeping anymore. It used to be you who'd be there every night... I can't recall a time when you weren't there at all. Until now. I've changed places with you. Do you think that was a bad idea? I don't know. Today I'll be leaving and in my mind, those two nights were the only chances I could envelope myself into who you were and... what you were, when you aren't there at all. That _I_ died instead and that you've never died at all when I looked at the vacant side of the room. I don't know if it helped. I could only think of the way you felt when you stared at the ceiling.

My suitcase is now open on your bed. My clothes, Mayu's phone and other stuff. We're leaving today. I don't know where we're headed, as I've got no home. Everything's packed. Somewhere in the suitcase was picture of our graduation. I will never think the same of it. Of the three of us only Luna was the ecstatic one, even if she was placed after us. Meyrin, Yolant and Vino had been enthusiastic and happy enough to celebrate it with a party. It might have been a different photo if that annoying teacher didn't told us beforehand, about... Perhaps we could have been smiling or pulling strange faces (...I would, certainly not you).

Ever since, I had been under the impression or rather imagining that you were jealous of me. Like you weren't able to sleep anymore, and just stared at the ceiling for long times, thinking about things I never knew about. You didn't know I was watching you, did you? Did you know I cared? You probably knew I didn't. I imagined you were that jealous of me, because I was assigned the Impulse and you weren't, while you as _the_ number one received a puny ZAKU as the consolation prize. The big ego of mine made it difficult for me to think clearly. I'm not sure if I can think clearly due to sentimentality, but... lately, I realized it wasn't about me, and I suppose I found out what you hid from me in those times.

Am I blind or what? It wasn't about me when you stared out into nothingness after the Chairman's notice. Otherwise you would have said he was being unfair about who would become the Impulse's pilot. Any rational person would. I had been for sure you would counter him, but I was stunned to hear you gave into his decision. It wasn't me. It's about him. You always talked about him differently than anyone else. Often saying I would have to listen to the Chairman, even after your death. Nothing came from that as both of you are dead. You died together. I tried not to believe it all ended; who else but you would revere him as you'd do? The things you said about him made me believe you knew him from elsewhere. I just thought of it all of sudden. You told me you never had parents, but I assumed you did have someone who had taken care of you. It was him. I suppose you hid that from us, due to him being related to your background. I have yet another theory about when you heard his resolve who would be the pilot of the Impulse. You knew him long before we met, you loved him so much for the way he cared about you... You worked so hard to get the best results, to become something truly precious in his eyes even if you were flawed. Become his son? Finally normal? Until his choice fell on me and everything fell apart. You never showed what you were sad about. Perhaps there was nothing to do about it if I were truly the best man fit for the Impulse.

Months ago when you barely looked at me, and when you were so absorbed into your position as our commander; I truly thought you were trying to get back on me. If that's true... I don't know. Of course there was tension between us and no other person dared to come in between, and I had rather been avoiding a possible outburst (this sounds very hypocritical I know). You talked even less to everyone, to me and Luna, than you did beforehand. When you agreed to the decision I thought you'd gone crazy, and I've been putting you up by telling you the Chairman having made a big mistake. It was a big mistake on my part having told you that. I never knew you could be that outraged in front of me. "_There's nothing to do about it, he's got it right! Make it fair for me! Become stronger!" _(That's when you started to behave like 'the almighty commander'. Even Luna seemed to have enough of it, when I 'switched' duties with you once.) Afterward I told you it wasn't fair at all, but you told me if it really bothered me that much I had to make it fair for you. It just seemed like nonsense, and you didn't seem to deal with it well at all. For that one moment you completely lost it, as if I'd broken through that thick wall of ice surrounding you. I respected the way you managed to accomplish things I never could do, but I lost it once you lashed out at me. That kind of respect was greater than the one I used to have for any other teacher, commander and other people. Even the Chairman... I trusted you, because you were so different... you just dealt with most things so well. You always had a different kind of air around you than what most people had. A VIP or a rich people's kid. Not a soldier, like me, and especially not a... clone.

To make it fair I had to become stronger than you and I've done everything I could. In the fight at ORB I managed to get better, above everyone else's expectations. It only got better, _in my own head_.

You know how I felt when you came up to me, smiling, saying that I've protected the Minerva and me being much worth that I was alive...? I won you back. Was it about the Chairman at all? If I existed for you as a friend, not as a rival, not as an enemy, but as a friend... Then when you said there would be a tomorrow,.. and that's what that girl told me as well. It stayed like that until Athrun showed up again and all of us were under his command. In the mean while, we'd become much better friends, because we were finally even in some manner. That's what I'd longed for, you did so too, right? The two of us ganging up against Athrun, who didn't do anything right and wilted away each time in his dark room as if he were a worthless idiot.

The pills you would have taken today are sitting neatly in this small box I'm holding in my hand. They move along each time I randomly send out the trembles through my fingers. Nothing but questions went through my mind the first time I held this box. Why did you use these pills and what for? Weren't you a coordinator after all? I had settled myself on your bed, where you had passed out. I could never resist the temptation to take a close look at the thing I hold in my hands, the pills I had never seen before. No details indicating of any health problems. The pills rolled to one side to other. Yesterday and the day before that tears would have spilled onto it. Now, I have no more.

You know, I should have been infinitely glad to discover this new side of you, who had always been this mysterious bloke. Only saying things if it was needed. You never told me something about yourself, not even after the incident in the Lodonia lab... seriously scaring me to death when you freaked out there. Were you really scared? I wouldn't be surprised if somebody else would instantly fled the place after this macabre discovery. Yet, of all people, you? It wasn't anything like you to react so badly to something like that. I never dared to asked about it. Who knew what you would say, who knew whatever was going through you at that time, and I guess I played safe by not letting you relive that memory. However, you'd probably say I shouldn't worry about a thing. No, I was worried sick, but then Stellar came along, and... well, I suppose I locked up that incident somewhere in the back in the mind. What did I know about it?

From a long and safe distance we saw how the Messiah was destroyed, seemingly plummeting itself onto the moon's surface. A dream fell apart, and I felt the same. Small pieces were shattered, within myself. It took ages. While waiting for help I moved myself into an embrace and looked at the farthest star I could find deep in the space. Nothing mattered anymore. It surprised me that the Justice turned to us and came to us. Athrun gestured us to come along and extended one hand. No revenge, even after the things I did to him. Once we were in the cockpit we asked whether he could drop us off at the Minerva, if it still existed. No idea. Athrun said he had been in the Messiah. We didn't know what to say to that, and neither did he.

_Only death._

I heard Athrun sighing about something, while searching off any rescue teams of ZAFT. No trace. He was hiding something. I was sitting in the back, still dead tired and constantly wondering where you were and if you were still there. Lunamaria nodded to me and let my hand go. I wearily smiled to her, before she got behind Athrun's seat. It was all fake.

"I have to tell you something..." He sighed once again and I could only listen with something stuck in my throat. It took his some effort to say the following words as he went on. "Talia Gladys. She's dead."

I could barely understand those words and just trembled.

"...and what about the Minerva?" Lunamaria softly said.

"She died on the Messiah."

"Why did captain Gladys go there..?!"

"Her choice was to stay with the Chairman, so was-"

"Why?" I wondered out loud, but nobody heard it by the sounds coming out of the speakers.

"A rescue capsule!" She called out. "It's from the Minerva!"

"Contact. Contact. ...this is Justice. Can you hear me?" Athrun immediately connected to their line.

It took a while before somebody answered back. Lunamaria came back to me.

"_We hear you Justice."_

"Hey Shinn.. I'm worried about Rey."

"Is there place available for two people?"

"..."

"_Everything is occupied here. Out of curiosity? Who are the two?"_

"You don't think he's..."

"Shinn Asuka and Lunamaria Hawke, of the Minerva."

"Good to hear they're around. Several people are missing in action, among them the captain and the other red ace."

"Shinn, say something." Her voice was desperate, but just trying to think of the possibility was too much for me.

"Ah.." Athrun seemed incredibly distracted by our conversation and I already knew where this was heading to. I started to shed tears again.

"_You should go wait in the Minerva. It's not far from here, but it's not life endangering. In fact, almost half of the crew is waiting for help. The rescue operations' have gotten messed up for some reasons."_

"Very well. I shall take them there at once."

"_Uh! Do you happen to have any news on the current situation? How is the Chairman, is he really-?!"_

"All I know is that he was shot down."

Sounds of shock went through the connection. Stunned voices. Apparently everybody there had been listening into their conversation. Athrun literally shrunk down in his chair, because of his very tactful answer.

"_Justice, how? Who did it! How do you know?"_

All of sudden the pilot looked at us, as if helpless, but it seemed like he was looking into my eyes more than ever.

"Who is it?" I demanded, while I felt my insides spinning around, my ears shutting down all sounds coming from the everything else, but his voice. I had to know.

Before he turned his face to the communication channel to turn it off, he looked at me for several seconds that could have taken ages, and then flew us back the Minerva. In an agonizing silence he spoke.

"Rey Za Burrel."

Next to me is another case. I have to gather all of your stuff in there; the uniform, the medals and everything else, ready to be sent off to the the relatives. I hope I may keep them, because... as far as I know you don't have any relatives or friends, except for me and Lunamaria. Even if I never felt I've been a friend to you. I don't think I have been a friend to you. Perhaps I was one, but a terrible one. It was only when you told me that you weren't the person I thought you were, that everything started to change in my outlook. It wasn't only how I've been looking up to you, but also at the way I've been with others and myself! I acted as if I was the only one who suffered and swore at everyone, because they would never know or understand. For a long time I looked down on people like Vino, Yolant... Meyin and Lunamaria.

I honestly don't know why the one I looked up to bothered with me, if you had it so much worse, from the beginning to the end. I once had a good life, a mother, a father, a sister... a normal life. Of all people I should be the one knowing how much worth they are... and yet I could only think of myself. How much you've longed more to these things had to be more than I wished to have.

I have a full suitcase and yours is empty.

"Shinn. May I come in?"

Lunamaria. She came to pick up those things. I get up to my feet and staggered to the door. The box containing the pills I quickly put in my pocket. I can't tell Luna about it. I push the button, and the door slid open. She's standing there with her suitcase. The girl hasn't been looking differently than the past days, broken en tired. From the distanced look in her eyes she seemed to feel terrible. We didn't get to talk much at all. There was no time for it, we're still confused.

"We have to go." She says and I nod. It's time.

I return to the the stuff on your bed. My suitcase shut tightly. With a painful look on my face I put your properties in the box, while Lunamaria watches me. Had it been more terrible experience for her than to me? You guys never made up after all. I don't know what to think of it... it must have been horrible. From your nightstand I pick another notebook and several pen. I look at the girl curiously.

"Is it okay to have a look?"

She shrugs.

I open the notebook, expecting to find some insulting things about me, however there were some scrawls I couldn't make out and mostly empty pages, ready to be filled out. Stuck in between the pages in the middle I saw some other papers. They were folded neatly.

Traces. You played that for us once. Those same pages you settled on the standard of the piano.

Traces are lines, traced... frames, copies, and footprints. A mystery, waiting to be solved. While I had been looking at the things I didn't understand, I realize I slowly unraveled your mystery.

Everything I'd traced down has fallen into its place. The same. Now I know where I should head to.

Her voice sings you newest piece, about tomorrow.

We're together now.

It's a miracle.


End file.
